Unemployment
by Lem1
Summary: The girls try to get jobs to help out Tenchi, and with their experience in the working world, it should be a pice of cake, right? Right?! Right...


Unemployment

This is just a short, plotless fic I wrote for fun!The girls are at the unemployment office trying to get jobs.Enjoy, laugh, drink lots and lots of saki… (everything's funnier when you're drunk).

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**Disclaimer:_I don't own Tenchi Muyo! or any of the characters.If I did, Tenchi and Ryoko would be married, Ryo-ohki would have a never ending basket of carrots, and Mihoshi would have a higher IQ._**

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Unemployment 

The interviewer lifted the cup of coffee to her lips and sipped it slowly, gazing at the woman in front of her with disapproval._Really now, silver hair and yellow contacts!Kids these days have no sense of decency._Peering around this first woman, the interviewer could make out a various array of hair colors, including purple, pink, and blue.She shook her head sadly and adjusted her horn-rimmed glasses.

"Name?" she demanded.

"Ryoko."

"Full name, please."

"Just Ryoko."The interviewer paused, her pen poised._These kids really shouldn't come here if they're not going to be serious._

"Any former occupations?"

"What?"

"Have you ever had a job?"

"A job?"The interviewer sighed in annoyance.

"Look, just tell me what you do all day."

"Well, I usually start my day with four or five cups of saki, then in the afternoon watch television with little miss priss back there."

"I see."

"I also sleep…a lot."

"Uh-huh."

"Listen, I was enslaved for 2,000 years, what do you want from me?"

"2,000 years…I understand."

"Then I was trapped in some damn cave for 700 years!"

"So that would make you 2,700 years old?"

"In earth years, yes."

"Oh, in earth years.Do you think you could convert that to moon years for me?" the interviewer asked sarcastically.

"Which moon?"There was a long pause."Oh, I get it.This is some kind of test, right?Okay, the moon goes around the earth 365 times a year, so 365 times 2,700 is…" Ryoko paused, considering.Finally she turned around and shouted, "Hey, Washu!What is 365 times 2,700?"The interviewer stared at her.

"Okay…Why don't you go wait over there while you try it figure it out?" Ryoko nodded absently and wandered off, counting on her fingers and muttering.The next woman stepped up.

"Name?"

"Ayeka."

"Last name please."

"I belong to Jurai's royal family.We have no need something as generic as a 'last name'."

"Great, just great.Any former occupations?"

"Of course.I am not a lazy, good-for-nothing like that Ryoko woman.I am the much beloved first crown princess of Jurai.See how pale and smooth my skin is?"Ayeka thrust out an arm.

"Ummm, yes, very smooth.Occupations…I'll just check the 'other' box here.We'll be sure to let you know if there are any openings for 'princess'."Ayeka nodded graciously and moved away from the desk.The pink-haired woman moved forward.

"Name please."

"Washu."The interviewer had decided against asking for a last name at this point.

"Any former occupations?"

"I'm a scientist."

"Really?That's wonderful!I gotta tell you, I thought I was going to end up interviewing nut-cases all day.Where did you last work?"

"The Royal Space Academy."

"The Royal Space…" 

"But now I mostly do freelance work."

"Ah."Washu leaned in closer and motioned the interviewer to do the same.

"You see that girl over there?" she asked, dropping her voice to a whisper.The interviewer glanced at Ryoko and nodded."Well, confidentially, _I_ created her."The interviewer leaned back dazedly.

"I see…"

"I'm also a goddess, if that helps at all."

"Oh, yes…yes it does.Next please!" the interviewer called, her voice wavering slightly.A blond headed woman stepped forward.

"Name?"

"Mihoshi, ma'am."

"Former occupation?"

"Police officer."

"Hey, that's great.Tokyo is in dire need of law enforcement officials - " The young lady's wrist watch began beeping.

"Oh!I'm getting a message from my ship, Yukanojo."

"You have a boat?" the interviewer asked in confusion.

"What?"

"You have a boat."The interviewer repeated more loudly.

"No I don't."

"But you just said - "

"I said I have a ship."

"Right."

"Huh?"

"Right!" the interviewer shouted.Mihoshi looked to her right.

"I don't see anything."The interviewer groaned and slumped in her chair.

"God, please, just _go away_!"

"Who are you talking to?"

"You!"

"My name's not God, it's Mihoshi."The interviewer tried to compose herself. 

"All right, Mihoshi," she said through clenched teeth, "thank you for your time.I'll contact you if a suitable job opening comes up."

"Don't you want my phone number?"

"That won't be necessary."Mihoshi ambled off, looking bewildered.The interviewer closed her eyes, taking long, deep breaths.A sudden thump nearby caused her to jump nervously.A strange furry creature sat on her desk.

"This is Ryo-ohki."The interviewer glanced up.Oh God, the moon-girl was back.

"What?" she asked faintly.

"This is Ryo-ohki.She wants a job too."

"The cat-rabbit wants a job."

"I'm going to translate."

"You speak cat-rabbit."

"Ryo-ohki says that her talents include: transforming into a spaceship, taking the form of a humanoid girl, and performing a very entertaining dance number.She is also willing to work for carrots."The cat-rabbit meowed in agreement.

"Well, would you look at the time…we have to close."

"You only stay open for an hour?" Ryoko asked.

"On Mondays, yes."

"It's Tuesday."

"Whatever."The interviewer grabbed a few papers and hurried out of the office, mumbling to herself.The girls watched her leave, then sighed collectively.

"I didn't even get a chance to be interviewed!" Sasami complained, saddened.They all filed out of the door into the streets of Tokyo.

"Well if you ask me, that woman was a few eggs short of a dozen," Ryoko grumbled.

"Lord Tenchi will not be pleased," Ayeka murmured.

There you have it, my little spaz of a fiction!Hope you guys got a few chuckles out of it.Remember to review!


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